


Yeah, well YOUR MAMA

by firstdegreefangirl



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: AU where the murphy kids are close with cynthia and also each other, Alternate Universe, Gen, M/M, So yeah, Yo Mama Jokes, connor finished the milk, evan doesn't like arguments, idols to semifuntional siblings everywhere, loosely based on my life, the murphy siblings, this is the closest i've ever written to crack fic lol, zoe isn't happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 03:05:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10585131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstdegreefangirl/pseuds/firstdegreefangirl
Summary: What happens when Zoe and Connor start trading "your mama" insults?This fic, that's what.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Let me just lead into this by saying that I have NO IDEA where this came from. Actually, I know exactly where it came from. A Tumblr chat with @r_287 and a real-life game I used to play with my little brother. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Connor!” Zoe yells in from the kitchen. “Did you finish the milk _again_?”

“Zoe!” Connor presses a hand over Evan’s ear, shielding him from the loud nose. “Can’t you drive to the store and buy more milk?”

“Connor, I swear to god …” Zoe comes into the living room, holding a bowl of dry cereal.

“Who has a bowl of cereal at 3 p.m. anyway?” Connor rolls his eyes. “Anyway, you were busy swearing to god?”

“Connor Noah Murphy, I swear to god I’d ask if you were raised in a barn, but we were raised together.”

“Yeah, well your mother did an _excellent_ job raising us!”

“Oh, that’s how this is gonna be?” When Zoe props a fist on her hip, Evan shifts nervously against Evan’s shoulder. “Your mother baked the most popular cookies for the jazz band bake sale last year!”

“Zoe. Zoe, Zoe, Zoe. If you’re gonna do this, you’ve gotta do it right. Yo’ mama is such a good cook that she could open a restaurant, but the line to park would be so long that it’d disrupt traffic!”

“Is she now? But _your_ mama gives the best hugs!”

“Yo mama is so festive that she decorates the house for all the holidays!” Connor slides out from underneath Evan, slowly enough for the shorter boy to sit up without falling over first.

“Connor?” When Evan speaks up, he’s so soft and timid that neither Murphy sibling notices.

“Yo mama so nice that she always tips … even if the service is bad!” Zoe waves her arms wildly to punctuate just how well mannered Cynthia can be.

“Your mother is so stylish that she makes a fanny pack look good!” Connor, thinking he’s won, crosses his arms and waits for Zoe’s retort.

“Yeah? Your mother is so well-prepared that her fanny pack is filled with practical items for whatever situations may arise!” Zoe smirks and lifts one eyebrow expectantly.

“Your mom is so clean that she washes the soap in the shower!”

“Your mom is so awesome that …” Zoe hesitates, and Connor knows the game is over.

“Oh? How awesome is she?”

“She’s so awesome that words cannot describe how awesome she is!”

“Nope. Not a sufficient compliment.”

“Yes it is! She’s indescribably awesome!”

“Not good enough. Evan?” Connor and Zoe look to him for a ruling, but Evan is just staring at the blank TV screen, clearly uncomfortable. “Evan? You OK, babe?”

“I-I-I-“ Evan stammers, but doesn’t actually respond. “Are you guys fighting? I-I don’t like when people fight.”

“Evan, no. No, baby, no. This is just a game we play. Right Zoe?” Connor sits down and wraps an arm around his boyfriend, who leans gratefully into the touch.

“Yeah, Evan.” Zoe sits down next to Connor and leans forward to rub Evan’s knee. “It’s all good. Watch.” She plants a goofy kiss on Connor’s cheek, which he makes a show of wiping away.

 

“Now, who won?”

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah. That happened. Comment your favorite positive yo mama joke below, especially if it's one I missed!
> 
> xoxo


End file.
